Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

The day before Thanksgiving, when most people were planning the family celebrations and stuffing the traditional turkey, my sister Cindy Mae suddenly and unexpectedly passed away at the young age of 39.

My little sister, my only sister, was one of those rare individuals who only saw the good in people. She seemed blissfully unaware of any animosity towards her, or if she saw it, it was quickly forgotten and replaced with feelings of love and goodwill.

Cindy was chubby as a young girl and suffered the taunts of other children all during her school years. As an adult, she got heavier and heavier until she was finally classified as morbidly obese by doctors. I always wondered what that meant... I guess the "morbid" part means you are so overweight it could cause you to die. Anyway, it seems society thinks that when you are a few hundred pounds overweight you are no longer a worthy person. At least that is how my sister was treated by doctors, store clerks and others who were in the position where decency should have been freely offered. We are so much more than our outward appearances.

I know I may seem biased, but my big beautiful little sister had the biggest heart of any individual I have ever known. Because of her own size, she had absolutely no rigid standards of what others should look like. She loved us whether we had a spot on our shirt, or our hair was a mess, and wouldn't even mention it if we had a giant mark on our face. She wasn't trying to be nice or anything - she simply did not see our faults.

I don't want to go on and on about my sister, my beloved baby sister who is now gone from this earthly life. I know most of you, if not all of you, have lost someone close to you. I know you have felt what I am feeling now. I guess the point of this blog entry is that life can change in an instant. Reach out to those you care about and always be kind. You don't have to tell every person you know that you love them - just treat them with respect and common decency. And if you love them - heck yes - tell them so.

My sister and I saw each other several times a month, usually weekly - for the last twenty years. Every time we parted one of us said "I love you", and the other said "I love you too". I saw my sister 3 days before she died - and those were the last words I ever said to her... "I love you too". That is the memory I choose to carry forward.

I'd like each and everyone to consider all of this in context of the YT website community. Sometimes people say things that make us want to lash out and say words that can never be taken back. Remember that when we talk to each other in the forums we are only showing one side of ourselves. There is so much more to the human spirit than what might appear to exist outwardly. On the outside, my sister was an overly large woman who was treated poorly by the general public because she had issues with her weight. Yes, she had a problem with that. But she was more than her weight, much more. She had the purest love I have ever seen in a person, and it saddens me to think that I may never be loved as deeply and unconditionally by another again.

Be kind to one another. Let people know you appreciate them. Here today, gone tomorrow. Life can change in an instant. Sister, I love you and I'll miss you.

P.S. For those more familiar with the site - Cindy has been the one who has typed in the data for the Tractor Show Guide for many years. She spent hours and hours each year getting the Show Guide ready for the YT community. Now you know why the 2005 show guide was missing... Cindy wasn't herself for the last year and has left us now. But she always enjoyed typing in the tractor show directory data, she loved helping me and was impressed that so many people read the information on the website.

Sister, I love you. Good bye for now. Sisters Forever - Kim & Cindy

Cindy Mae, 1966 - 2005